


Megabardisms

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Filk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 06:18:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/794818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A chorus of sentinelized songs brought to you by the court bard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Megabardisms

No copyright infringement intended. 

## Megabardisms

by MegaRed  


To the Tune of "Someone to Watch Over Me," with apologies to the Gershwins   
  


> There's a Sentinel I'm longing to see  
> on the TV  
> from the Powers That Be  
> Why won't they listen to me?
> 
> Blair and Ellison belong in the sack  
> Jim can attack  
> Blair on his back  
> Why won't they listen to me?
> 
> Although the h/c scenes are really  
> Big on touchie-feelie  
> For my heart, it's so plain to see...
> 
> While we'll never see our guys in the buff  
> I know it's rough  
> But it might be enough  
> To see them hug on TV!
> 
> Why won't they listen to me?  
> 

* * *

  


To the tune of "I Enjoy Being A Girl" with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein   
  


>   
> When Ellison's in a Zone-Out  
> And he's slack-jawed and empty-eyed  
> Or needs me to pull his phone out  
> I Enjoy Being a Guide!
> 
> When psychopaths try to drug me  
> Or I've OD'd and nearly died  
> As long as Jim's there to hug me  
> I Enjoy Being a Guide!
> 
> I cringe when I see a set of handcuffs  
> I talk to spiders crawling toward my head  
> I know I've this talent to withstand stuff  
> But I could've gone to Borneo instead!
> 
> Antennas may fall atop me  
> But I can't stay away from him  
> Guns, knives and bombs won't stop me  
> I Enjoy Being A Guide  
> Guiding a guy  
> Like  
> Jim!  
> 

* * *

  


To the tune of "I Got Rhythm", with even bigger apologies to the Gershwins   
  


>   
> I've got these senses  
> They're right off the scale  
> Saw the doc, to no avail
> 
> Then met this kid,  
> With these eyes and this hair  
> Witch-doctor punk  
> Name of Blair
> 
> He's been with me all the time  
> Never leaves my side  
> Heaven help me, I think I'm  
> Falling for my Guide
> 
> I Got Hearing  
> I got Eyesight  
> I got my Guide  
> Who could ask for anything more?
> 
> Stopping Nazis  
> Shooting psychos  
> Dodging redheads  
> Who could ask for anything more?
> 
> Though my jaw's sore  
> Though my hair's thin  
> Long as Blair's in  
> Sight, I've got no worries at all!
> 
> So I'm happy  
> With my new life  
> Since my Ex-wife's  
> In LA I don't have to hide
> 
> That I fell in love with my Guide.  
> 

* * *

  


To the tune of "I Could Have Danced All Night" with apologies to Lerner and Loewe   
  


>   
> I could have sensed all night  
> I could have sensed all night  
> And still have sensed some more
> 
> With no regrets or cares  
> We did it on the stairs,  
> The couch, the bed, and floor
> 
> Then in the shower  
> For half an hour  
> We cuddled  
> Then back to bed,  
> And doused the light
> 
> And now I'm holding him  
> {You are so lucky, Jim!}  
> I could have sensed, sensed, sensed  
> All night!  
> 

* * *

  


To the tune of "Camelot" with ever-growing apologies to Lerner and Loewe   
  


>   
> The Java's flowing freely all the time here  
> In Fords most of your motor trips are made  
> It rains or snows ten months out of the year here  
> In Cascade
> 
> This ain't Seattle, even though it looks like  
> The crooks have rallied here for a parade  
> We've even got church-bombers from the Third Reich  
> In Cascade
> 
> Cascade! Cascade!
> 
> Although you think it's really rare,  
> Here in Cascade  
> Cascade  
> Most women have red hair!
> 
> Elevators need to be avoided  
> When one-hit-wonders drop them like a brick  
> You've really gotta watch  
> These kids who kick your crotch  
> If you have plans to be a father  
> While you're in Cascade!
> 
> Yachts, warehouses, and greenhouses are places  
> Where long-haired teaching fellows are waylaid  
> Jim's head goes through assaults that leave no traces  
> In Cascade
> 
> Cascade! Cascade!
> 
> Since Blair helped Alec on his way  
> Here in Cascade  
> Cascade  
> The Corvair's D.O.A.
> 
> Though Zeller, Lash and Brackett may cause problems  
> Jim Ellison won't let them have their way.  
> And as for that Kincaid  
> Amoral and toupeed  
> He should have grabbed a different hostage  
> As he left Cascade  
> 

* * *

  


A quick vacation from Broadway: To the tune of "Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da" with apologies to Lennon and McCartney, and dirty looks to Felicemar who put the idea for this song into my head!!!!   
  


>   
> Sandburg is a long-haired anthropologist  
> Jim's a cop who's senses run amuck  
> Jim decides to let the student study him  
> When he keeps Jim from being flattened by a truck
> 
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.  
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.
> 
> Sandburg teaches Ellison to use a dial  
> Somewhere in the big detective's brain  
> "Use your mind to turn the dial way down low,"  
> he says "and then you'll feel some comfort for your pain!"
> 
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.  
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.
> 
> In a couple of months, they have built  
> A partnership  
> Now wherever they go, they go side by side  
> A perfect relationship.
> 
> Simon is the Captain of this winning team  
> He knows his Detective's just the tops  
> And he thinks that Sandburg's really not so bad  
> Alhough he'd never say that to the other cops.
> 
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.  
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.
> 
> In the town of Cascade, Jim has shown  
> The crooks can't hide  
> And they swiftly learn not to come between  
> The Sentinel and his Guide... AH HA HA HA!
> 
> Ellison has trouble with his eyes/ears/nose  
> Sandburg has a test to check them out  
> Jim says "Hey, no way! I hate those stupid tests!"  
> But then he never could resist Blair's little pout.
> 
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.  
> Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da  
> Tests go on, brah!  
> La la how the tests go on.  
> 

* * *

  


To the tune of "Getting To Know You" with more apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein. 

The Scene: Picture the guys sitting in the livingroom, stealthily sneaking glances at each other, these thoughts running through their heads:   
  


>   
> BLAIR:  
> Getting to know him  
> Getting to know all about him  
> Learning his House Rules  
> Struggling to keep them straight
> 
> Getting to know Jim  
> Trying to stay open-minded  
> Being reminded  
> To wipe my feet!
> 
> Starting to wonder  
> If I should get an apartment  
> 'Cause what I'm feeling  
> Certainly should worry him
> 
> Doesn't he notice  
> That when he comes near  
> I'm breathless?  
> Just from his  
> Blue  
> Eyes  
> Watching me with such  
> Care,  
> I  
> Look but I can't touch
> 
> My friend Jim
> 
> JIM:  
> Getting to know him  
> Getting to know all about him  
> Trying to stomach  
> All of the weird stuff he cooks.
> 
> When he moved in here  
> He said "Just two weeks, no longer"  
> Thought I was stronger  
> He got to me
> 
> When will he realize  
> That I just can't be without him?  
> I'm going crazy  
> Wanting to just touch his hair
> 
> Why can't I show him  
> How he's become so important?  
> His face is  
> Al  
> Ways  
> Stuck here in my brain  
> Think  
> I  
> Might just go insane
> 
> Wanting Blair!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Email the author with comments.  
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